Crimson Tears
by xXxMusicIsMyDrugxXx
Summary: I have always wondered why my life was so filled with love, but so full of pain as well. Only now do I realize that they are one and the same thing.
1. In the beginning

**Hey all! This is my first ever fanfic, so please be nice about it! If you flame, I will point and laugh, then feed it to my iguana!**

** Anyways, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not flame me about Mary-Sues. I have a very distinct opinion on them, SEE MY PROFILE! If you have no life and therefore decide to flame, go waste your life on someone else's fanfic.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Death Note, or any of the characters involved in Death note. If I did, I wouldn't be wasting my time writing fanfics about it. I do own my OC Solitude, and any other random characters I made up to serve my purposes.**

**This chapter is dedicated to my BFFL Brittny, for sharing my love of fanfiction, Death Note, and writing, and for being there for me when I had no one to show my fanfic to.**

**SOLITUDE POV**

I was sitting high up in the branches of a large oak tree. The light May breeze ruffled my long, jet-black hair as I stared at the blank canvas in my lap. I was trying to figure out what to draw. I figured that the sunset would make a beautiful picture, with various tints of pink, orange, violet and blood red. But I was unsure of how exactly to go about that. One of my closest friends, B, looked over my shoulder.

B, or his real name, Beyond Birthday, had spiky hair just as dark as mine. He usually wore jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt, like today. His most curious feature, though, were his eyes. They were as red as blood, which he seemed to have a fixation with, and for some reason, he could see the names of people just by looking at them. I believe that they do something else as well, but he has never discussed it with me. "What are you gonna paint?" he asked me for the ten-billionth time. I shrugged and stared back down at the canvas. "L?" I called down to the base of the tree, "What do you think?"

L was one of my other two best friends. He looked almost identical to Beyond, except that his hair was a bit spikier, his eyes were dark grey with huge black pupils, and he had dark bags under his eyes due to his insomnia. He was far quieter than Beyond. His full name was L Lawliet, but I was one of the few people who knew that. He had some very strange mannerisms, like always sitting in a crouch or holding things with as little skin as possible. He also has an obsession with sweets, like my obsession with candy and B's obsession with jam. Or blood.

Sitting against the tree next to L was my other best friend, A. He had darkish blond hair that always fell into his eyes, which were electric blue. He was always easygoing and worked well with people, but he got stressed very easily. He was currently sitting next to L, reading.

L looked up at me and said, "I don't know, S. Draw what you feel like drawing." I blew a strand of hair out of my dark blue eyes. L was always frustrating like this. He was the oldest of our little group, 17 years old. The rest of us were 15. Truthfully, every kid at this orphanage, Wammy's House, was only here to compete. For what? To see who would succeed L as the world's greatest detective. We were only here to replace him when he died. But we always pushed that morbid thought to the back of our minds. Well, A, B and I did. The rest… well, let's just say the three of us weren't very popular here.

I put my hand on the tree branch and immediately snatched it away. I had cut my index finger on the branch, a small incision on my finger pad. Crimson tears welled up and dripped down my finger. However, I did not cry out or curse. Pain had never really bothered me all that much. Instead, I looked at the blood thoughtfully. Then I gently brushed the wound across my canvas. And again. I quickly dipped my brush into some paint, then began to create a sunset, using my blood as often as my paint. B looked over my shoulder as I drew my finger across the painting again. He breathed in sharply, then said, "It's beautiful…"

Beyond had always been fascinated by blood and pain. He frequently did… er… experiments to test his theories. As I finished my painting, I hopped down from the tree to show my work to L and A. l frowned slightly at the blood streaked across my sunset scene. "It does add depth to the painting, but is it necessary to maim yourself to produce such results?" I shrugged and said, "I cut myself by accident, and who wants to let the blood go to waste?" I heard B snort behind me and grinned to myself.

At that moment, Wammy himself walked over to us holding a camera. "Picture?" he asked, "I've decided to send pictures to the government to show that the funding they're giving us is quite worth the effort. And besides, we can hang all of our photos on a wall, to enhance community feelings!"

Behind me, B snorted again. I couldn't help but agree. We were complete outcasts here, and the other children made our lives all but miserable. Well, except for L. No one was quite brave enough to make fun of him, and he also defended us. But when he wasn't looking, it wasn't fun.

"Come on, guys!" I pleaded. "It'll be fun!" They rolled their eye and A said, "Seriously? Why would I want to be on a wall with _them_?" he jerked his thumb back towards the other kids playing on the lawn behind him. I sighed and dragged B over next to me, then pointed beside him, telling A to get his… ahem… _arse_ over there for a picture. He walked over, grumbling. That left L. I grabbed his arm and yanked him over next to me. He looked surprised at the sudden contact, then just put his thumb to his lip and stood next to me. I put my arms around L and B, and A just kinda stood there next to B.

"SMILEEEEEE!" I shouted. The others couldn't help but laugh, and Wammy snapped a picture. As it came out, I grabbed it. It showed the four of us standing in front of a tree, grinning and laughing like a bunch of teenage idiots. Which we were.

I picked up my art supplies, dumped them into L's hands, then shouted, "Race you to the house, B!" he gave me his "You're on" grin, then we took off running. S I neared the house, something grabbed the back of my shirt. I sprawled on the ground, and flipped myself over to find B on top of me, propped up on his elbows and grinning evilly. I turned red and shouted, "What the hell? What did you do that for? I was winning!"

"Exactly," he said, smirking. I blew a strand of hair out of my face and said, in a sickly-sweet voice, "Beyond, do you think you could get off of me?" he smirked even wider and said, "What? Aren't you enjoying the view? I certainly am." If I was red before, it was NOTHING on how I was now. "You are such a PERVERT!" I exclaimed. And at that moment, A and L caught up. A bit back laughter, but L's ace darkened at the sight of b on top of me.

"Backup, get off her," he growled. Beyond winked at me and got off, finally. He threw a dirty look at L for using his much-hated nickname. L put out his hand to help me up, which I took. I flicked my dark hair out of my eyes, grabbed my art supplies from L, and marched up towards my room, muttering about hormonal teenage boys.


	2. Birthday and Beyond

**Ohai! Hao gose it? This is chapter two of my very first fanfic! Woohoo!**

**I am SOOOOOOOOO sorry for not updating! My updating schedule revolves around when I have time! Which isn't all that much. And it's only gonna get worse over the summer. I have freaking travel camp every week all summer, so I will only be able to update on weekends once school ends.**

**Also, I'm sorry for such a short first chapter! It was just an introduction of sorts, not a full chapter, and besides it looked much longer written out on loose-leaf paper!**

**Disclaimer time!**

**Mello, will you do the honors?**

**Mello: WHY ME? I'M NOT EVEN IN THIS!**

**Do I need a reason? Just do what I say before I decide to hurt you.**

**Mello: You? Hurt ME? Ha!**

**-_- you do realize that before me there was no such thing as a serial killer.**

**Mello: xXxMusicIsMyDrugxXx (henceforth known as Froggy) does not own Death note or characters related to it. She does not own Coldplay either, nor their songs. She does own her OCs and, apparently, my mind.**

**Hehe… Mello's my mind slave now**

**This chapter is dedicated to Amanda, who introduced me first to Bleach, and then to Death Note, and enlightening me to the beauty of being an obsessive otaku.**

Solitude POV

I was standing in front of the rectangular full-length mirror on the back of my closet door, looking at m reflection. I was getting dressed up for my birthday. My 16th birthday, as a matter of fact. This was the first time, since the day I was born, that my birthday fell on a Friday. Friday the 13th of June.

I was wearing a short corset-style dress. The skirt was a soft, silky material that shimmered black and, when the light hit it at the right angle, deep purple. The corset top was a simple black, laced lightly over a shimmery purple top. The whole dress was sleeveless. I was wearing black silk heels, not too high, or I'd fall. I have a bad history with high heels.

I had chandelier earrings, black coated silver with black stones and faux-diamonds, as well as two small diamond clips in my hair. I also wore my special charm bracelet, full of tokens of special events in my life. I had charms that people had given me for birthdays, Christmas, and other occasions, as well as beads and other such items that I had collected from places of significance. I always wore this bracelet. It was my most valuable item.

I shut off the lights in my room and stepped outside, shutting the door behind me. I walked down the carpeted hallway, my steps muffled despite my heels. I stopped at the top of the wide main staircase, gazing down at the entrance to the dining hall. It had been decorated lavishly in black and purple and silver, my colors of choice.

For the 16th birthday of any Wammy house resident, a huge party was thrown in their honor. They got to choose the decorations and food, and the whole orphanage was invited. Despite this, I wasn't as happy or excited as you might think. I knew that while my three best friends were waiting down there, so too were my social enemies. I knew they would just try to make this night miserable for me. But I mustn't think about that. A always said I was too morbid and depressive. It was true. I often found it hard to be positive. Nevertheless, I resolutely walked down the stairs and into the hall.

When I walked inside, I was immediately attacked- for want of a better word- by A and B. They pulled me into a hug, and shouted "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" At the top of their lungs. I grinned and hugged them back. L was standing a bit behind them, and when I extricated myself from their grip, he said quietly with his thumb in his mouth, "Happy birthday, S." I smiled again and went to hug him. He stood stiffly in my embrace, and I rolled my eyes. "It's called a hug, L. you're _supposed _to hug the person back." He awkwardly put his arms around me, and I sighed and said, "Good enough."

Now that I had stepped back, B and L both stared at me, mouths slightly open, looking me up and down. B raised an eyebrow at my dress, and I folded my arms over my chest protectively. "Pervert," I mumbled, and he smirked at me. A took that as a cue and grabbed my arm, saying, "I think these two need some time to themselves…" I laughed and followed him over to the snack table. I grabbed a cup of soda and he grabbed some chips.

"So," he said, "I see you've go B and L hanging on your every word." I turned red and sputtered a bit before saying, "All I see is B being perverted." A scoffed at me. "He's not being a pervert; he likes you. Even the 'mistress of oblivious' (That's what they called me for always staring into space and being oblivious to whatever's going on) should have noticed that by now." I opened my mouth to reply, but I felt a sharp tap on my shoulder. I turned to find myself facing Lydia, one of the other girls at Wammy's house.

Lydia made a point of looking me up and down, then said, "I see you won't even drop your stupid Goth clothes at you own _party._" She gestured at my dark dress and makeup. "Oh, and do you think we came to your party for you? Ha, that's a good one! We're only here 'cause we've got nothing better to do. Don't get it into your creepy head that we care." 'We' obviously referred to everyone besides A, B, L and myself.

I rolled my eyes and was about to retort when another person stopped me- this time it was B. "Leave her alone, bitch," He growled. "Why don't you go over there with your slutty friends and be a whore where no one can see you?" I choked on my soda, laughing. But then a bunch of Lydia's friends, and her boyfriend, came over. I could see things were about to escalate, and apparently so did B, because he suddenly said, "Come and dance." He pulled me onto the dance floor just as a slow song came on. He put his hands on my waist and I put mine around his neck- I don't really get why it's called slow dancing. I mean, it's not really even dancing. It's just kind of shuffling from foot to foot.

We danced for a little bit, then B took my hand and led me outside into the dark corridor. I gave him a questioning look, and he said, "I have to give you your present." He pulled a small black box out of his pocket and opened it. Inside was a small charm: a ruby carved in a teardrop shape. I sucked in my breath. "B… It's beautiful…" I breathed. He smiled and said, "It looks like a tiny drop of blood, doesn't it?"

I nodded and clipped the charm onto my bracelet, where it glittered in the half-light. I looked up at him and saw him watching me. He brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. "Your eyes are really beautiful… I don't know why you keep the covered all the time."

And before I quite knew what was happening, he had his arms around my waist and he was kissing me. It was a blissful oblivion, being so close and finally realizing how we both felt. I had my arms around his neck, fingers playing with his dark hair, reveling in the moment.

As he pulled back, I knew we were both smiling. He whispered "Happy birthday" in my ear, then ran his hand through my hair. I laid my head on his chest and just drank in the moment. After a while, he said, "We should probably get back to the party, or L will come after us. He'd probably think I raped you or something."

I laughed; I couldn't help myself. Just like B to ruin a perfectly good romantic moment. But he was right. I wouldn't put it past L to think something like that. Actually, up until tonight, I wouldn't have put it past B to… what the hell? Why am I thinking that? I shook my head and said, "Yeah, you're right. Let's go. We're missing all the fun, and it is _my_ party after all."

He grinned and slipped an arm around my waist. We walked back inside to find L- where else but at the snack table, eating a slice of cake. When he saw us his face registered relief, then shock, then anger, then annoyance and back to his normal expression so fast I didn't even know if I saw it. A, standing next to him, wolf-whistled and said to B, "Dude, how come you get the only girl here who'll talk to us?" B scowled, but I just laughed.

"Anyway," said A, "Happy birthday." He pulled out a wrapped box, which I opened to reveal… a collection of new Coldplay CDs (my favorite band). I squealed and thanked him excitedly. The CDs had all of my favorites, like Lovers In Japan, Viva La Vida, Clocks, The Scientist, and Violet Hill, as well as almost every other song.

A elbowed L and said, "Come on, give her yours!" L pulled out what looked like a large wooden case from behind a table. He opened it to reveal a new set of art supplies- dozens of colors of paints, colored pencils, oil and chalk pastels, and watercolors, as well as new brushes, various pencils, and charcoal. I gasped and pulled L into another hug. "L, you're the absolute best!"

He froze, still uncomfortable with physical contact. A rolled his eyes and said, "Dude, just hug her." L hugged me awkwardly again, the stepped back quickly, biting his thumb. B, looking irritated, brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes.

I heard a crash behind me and turned to see three younger kids- all about 7 years old or so- hanging out in a corner. One, with red hair, was playing a DS in a corner. Matt I think? The other two, Mello and Near, were apparently in a fight. Well, Mello was screaming, Near was just rebuilding the domino tower Mello had evidently just knocked down.

Mello was always bullying Near, whatever the reason. I felt bad for the poor kid. He never showed any outward signs of hurt, always sitting and twirling a strand of his white hair around his index finger, but I could tell it bothered him. I opened my mouth to intervene when L muttered, "Forget it; It's a lost cause. " I looked at him a moment then laughed; it was true.

I contented myself with throwing a stray grape at Mello; he spun around looking for the culprit. I gave him a look, and he mumbled something unintelligible and walked away. Near gave me a small smile; he had always liked me. He was also a bit of a loner here. I winked at him, then turned away.


End file.
